The Fall

The stars dripped down the velvet sky as my soul raced through the dark still hours before the dawn. All of my limbs felt light, almost nonexistent as adrenaline pounded through my veins, roaring in my ears so loudly it was all I could hear. I needed him near me again I just couldn't stand it. The ache, the unbearable yearning to have him in front of me again could be - at times - completely overwhelming. It was times like that, times like this, that I would shoot up into the sky and just fly. The air rushed over me, yanking my hair back over my shoulders and tugging greedily at my clothes. It was warm and inviting but somehow cool and soothing to the throbbing in my chest. Sometimes I would push forward with all my might and race for whatever lie ahead. Other times I would float lazily and drift in between and up and over clumps of fog and still-gathered bits of fluffy clouds. Meanwhile, I couldn't shake the images jamming my mind.

His eyes haunted me every minute of every day. Beautiful blue eyes fringed in lashes so dark and so long I envied them myself. The touch of his skin against mine was like a phantom touch forever hovering and caressing me, a feeling I could rarely shake and truly, I didn't want to. It tickled and sent shivers over my body as he whispered all of the words I had for so long waited to hear from those before him. Promises flowed off his tongue with surety and sincerity. I felt safe and solid, as though both feet were firmly on the ground and I could see straight ahead for miles. There was nothing but pure clarity.

Then came the explosive shattering when everything, every touch, every word he had spoken, every kiss he had shared, it all became a lie. The stars suddenly raced by but the angle changed as I fell from the sky, zooming straight down to the hard unforgiving earth. My heart seemed to tug from my chest and up into my throat as I struggled to catch a breath and clear my mind. Panic took over me completely, clouding my head, and paralyzing my body. Everything happened so quickly, the fall seemed to take forever, and yet no time at all. My body hit the ground hard, smashing every bone, grinding into them with intense cruelty so deep my vision darkened. Everything felt shredded, broken, twisted at an odd angle, and hollowed at simultaneously. Unconscious felt like utter emptiness. As my body started to regain responsiveness, a single tear, wet and hot, slid from my eye, trailed it's way down my cheek, and plunked to the grassiness which I laid. It had been wasted time, a moment of a high. Was the fall worth that moment?

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